what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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