ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
