remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize