There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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