Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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