so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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