I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
