Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
