Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
