i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Let's paint friendship bongs
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
