you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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