Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
