do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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