What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
