Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
