somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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