Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
