His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
