Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
