It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
