I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
