Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
