Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i think i just lost a toe
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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