im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
