My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize