You're completely useless in the revolution.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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