Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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