The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
