so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
