is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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