I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
