i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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