You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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