wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You took a bar mat shot.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize