I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
