Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize