We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
