ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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