I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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