how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
