In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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