I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
