tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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