Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
