make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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