sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
