okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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