ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
