I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
