Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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