So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
