Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
