C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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