I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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