They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
