Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
