yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
