Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
