I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
